13 Things About Owning a Cat

ONE // Your day will revolve around the cat and its feeding times. This will usually involve your legs getting clawed to pieces, as they try and climb you like a play thing in order to express their intense desire to get some dinner or some treats.

TWO // You will forever be in need of a lint roller. And it’ll often be the case that the minute you remove every last bit of cat hair from your jumper and tights, the cat rubs up against you as you leave the house. Sod’s law.

THREE // You will get used to the sound of scratching at the bedroom door at 5am, signalling that the cats don’t care that you are human and need your beauty sleep before a hard day at work, because all that is important to them is that you feed them pronto.

FOUR // You will regularly find gifts hidden around the house, some more thoughtful than others. A few leaves and some flowers is fairly pleasant, but a mouse or bird (either dead or alive), isn’t so. Some will make you laugh, and some will just leave you despairing.

FIVE // You will find that the majority of your innermost thoughts are shared with the cat. The cat can give you advice on all manner of daily trials and tribulations, always giving you the answer you want to hear. Your cat will always be pleased to see you, simply for the fact that they can’t tell the time and assume that now you’re home, dinner is due.

SIX // No matter the size of the cat, it will take up an entire sofa. Even the tiddliest of kittens, will manage to stretch out to ensure that no human can possibly squeeze onto that sofa. You will also find your cat curled up asleep in all sorts of weird and wonderful nooks and crannies.

SEVEN // Your cat loves computers. Particularly keyboards. They will wander back and forth across the keyboard repeatedly whilst you are in the middle of doing something. And whilst they’re at it, their paws will manage to ‘ctrl + alt ‘ some very obscure combinations of keys, rendering your computer now completely useless. Having not seen what the cat clumsily stood in, it’ll now take you hours to correct whatever that furry fiend has done.

EIGHT // The pecking order will change. No matter who is in the house, the cat will always be the boss. There is no compromise.

NINE // Each time you leave a drink laying around, you can never be entirely sure that it hasnt had a furry paw dunked into it.

TEN // All sorts of bric-a-brac which would usually be consigned to the bin, is now a cat’s greatest treasure. Those bottle corks and bits of ribbon? Cat’s treasure. Those bits of polystyrene and packing material? Cat’s treasure. 

ELEVEN // Give the cat anywhere to sleep, and it’ll still somehow end up choosing your face. Or your head. At 4am. Whilst it purrs realllllly loudly.

TWELVE // Your cat will, at some point in its life, have a fight with its reflection and end up worse off. It makes for a great Snapchat video though, so get your cameras at the ready.

THIRTEEN // Your cat will become your new best friend. Because of all of the reasons above.